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This year signifies a ten-year milestone since the word “vanishing” entered the common lexicon. At the time, the idea that someone could instantly end contact with a romantic interest without a word seemed like the height of indignity. Our innocence was charming. In the decade since, navigating toward a partner has only become more bewildering – an frequently pointless pursuit in embarrassment that is increasingly shaped by social media jargon.

Generation Z, a generation who matured during a loneliness epidemic, a male identity crisis, and a coordinated attack on the freedoms of females and the queer community, faces a far messier terrain than their millennial elders could ever fathom. And so their romantic lexicon has grown longer and more unhinged, with phrases like “Shrekking” and “vine swinging” pushing the limits of your sanity.

The following list is a detailed glossary to the words Zoomers is using to navigate romance, intimacy and the search of both. To paraphrase one of the year’s most enduring memes, by the end of this glossary you’ll yearn to get back to God’s country – because wherever that is, it doesn’t have “wokefishing”.

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The Letter A

Realness – In the view of gen Z, romance's ideal is presenting as your real, raw self. Best wishes with that!

B

Feathered friend test – A online phenomenon connected to a methodology developed by relationship scientists, in which you mention something trivial – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and pay attention to whether your partner’s reply is engaged or brushed off. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are doomed.

Independent partner – Gen Z’s answer to the “quirky fantasy girl” trope of the early 2000s – but rather than having short fringe, liking indie music and avoiding commitment, the black cat girlfriend prioritizes herself while radiating mystery and independence. (She could possibly have that fringe.)

C

Seat theory – This refers to choosing someone who helps you proactively. If you entered a room, they would fetch a chair for you to sit down.

Choremance – A outing where two people form a link while doing chores, such as pet care or grocery shopping. In other words, how cash-strapped twentysomethings do low-cost romance in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Melting down – Melting down when you feel swamped by life. You can lose it over a infatuation or breakup, dumping all of your unreciprocated feelings.

The Letter D

Dink – Dual income no kids. Once a signifier of 1980s yuppie affluence, it refers to couples who choose against having children to prioritize their own fulfillment. Or because they are unable to afford to become parents.

E

Vulnerable signaling – The antithesis of acting aloof: practicing communication, honesty and vulnerability.

F

Signals

• Danger signals – Personal habits signaling a potential partner is trouble. Such as calling their exes unstable, poor tipping habits, a fondness for controversial director films, a nascent DJ career …
• Positive signs – These actions validate your choice to pursue a partner. Examples include following up to make sure you got home safe after a date, low screen time, having a bed frame …
• Neutral quirks – These typically describe specific, largely inoffensive quirks. For instance being an enthusiastic ornithologist, still carrying around a pen in their purse, paying the rent in physical money …

Niche bonding – When you meet someone who’s just as passionate about films about the WWII or physical media hoarding or art or whatever it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, meeting someone who loathes the same things or individuals that you do (nothing builds closeness faster than sharing a common enemy).

G

The band Geese – A band a typical Zoomer guy listens to.

Ghostlighting – Someone who pops back into your life after a period of silence.

Golden retriever boyfriend – Someone who is affable, eager to please and loyal. The uncommon partner who is beloved by all of his partner’s friends, and a mysterious partner's counterpart.

Gooners – A mostly online subculture of men so preoccupied with masturbation that they attempt extended sessions, purposefully postponing climax so they can go on as long as possible.

The Letter H

Pessimistic straight dating – A mindset describing many women’s increasing pessimism toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

Traditional ideal woman – An archetype championed by online male influencer figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, ever-comforting and happily home-oriented, who apparently has no ambitions of her own other than satisfying her male partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to understand the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

I

Turn-offs – Arbitrary and usually everyday turnoffs that immediately shut down any feelings of attraction.

“Actions speak louder" – Something to tell yourself after you watch someone else get an incredibly sweet gesture.

J

Careers – These have not been this crucial in the dating scene since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “man in finance” is the ideal catch: a preppy, Republican-coded guy who will provide (there’s a popular TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd seek out partners in sectors they believe are being staffed by the more nurturing among us: nurses, teachers or counselors.

K

Making out – This year, researchers learned that the kiss has existed for 16 million years. But the era of kissing may be limited since some Zoomers desire fewer sex scenes in movies, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find cinematic romance authentic.

Kittenfishing – Catfishing-lite. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) pictures of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your career sound more important than it is. Also known as {